Nov. 3^rd, 2020—Election Day in the U.S.A.  By the time some of you read this, the election will be over.  Some candidates will have won, which means others will have lost.  And pretty much everyone in the country will also feel like they’ve won or lost, in this high-stakes, volatile-issues, polarized, election season. 

This includes me.  And yet, regardless of who wins or loses seats in every level of government, one thing remains higher priority than any issue or even the sum total of them—that’s unity.  That’s keeping the United States UNITED—somehow—even when so many forces threaten to tear us apart.

Is this possible?  Some say “No– Both the political parties and the people who support them have gotten too extreme—we can never mend the fabric that holds us together.” 

But, idealistic as it may sound, I think we can maintain and/or restore unity in our nation—IF we make it our goal and act accordingly.

How?

1. Find common ground– Yes, it’s hard, especially with controversial, “hot-button” issues and the emotions attached to disagreement over them.  But it’s possible. 

For example, the whole abortion issue—that’s about as emotionally charged as it gets!  The pro-life side accusing the pro-choice side of heartless baby-killing.  The pro-choice side accusing the pro-life side of heartless disregard for the rights and needs of the mother.

And yet—let’s turn this inside-out. Just by looking at the accusations on each side, we can see something in common to both of them—If each feels the other is “heartless”, it means they both VALUE COMPASSION! They/we may never agree on how that’s defined in this instance, but they/we can at least establish that the common-ground of promoting “compassion” exists– Which means the other side, though “misguided”, still has good intentions—which means we can have dialogue with them.

Now apply this to other issues—there’s plenty of them—such as how to develop an economic policy that helps everyone—the point is, those with good intentions on both sides actually DO CARE about everyone.  And so on…

2. Replace fear with understanding– Everyone knows about the “fight or flight” instinct associated with real or perceived danger.  Depending on our personality, we either engage in battle or engage in escape. 

Either way, fear causes anger. We become angry at whatever or whoever is threatening to hurt us and causing us distress.

This applies to the current socio-political environment in our country.  “Liberals” and “conservatives” are afraid of what the other one will do to “irreversibly ruin our nation” and “take away our rights and freedoms”.  And the ones in the “middle” are afraid of both extremes.

I’ve heard people on both sides express these fears, with the same emotions of someone describing an impending nuclear attack that “must be stopped, or else!” 

But what if, instead of assuming the other side is made up of dangerous enemies that we have to figuratively “kill or be killed”, we approach each other with open hearts and open ears?

What if we ask questions and find out what’s driving THEIR concerns, THEIR beliefs, and THEIR behavior?  What if, as in #1 above, this causes us to realize the other side isn’t really out to destroy all we hold dear? 

What if we find out at least some of our labels and preconceptions about “the other side” are false? And that even though some positions really are “wrong” in our opinion, they’re not rooted in evil intent?  Ok—there’s a few “bad guys” out there with bad motives, but–

What if we really understand how and why the “other side” is as afraid of us as we are of them?!  What if we empathize with how and why the “other side” feels and believes as they do?  The “Golden Rule” applies here:  “Do to others whatever you’d like them to do to you”—Mat. 7:12

This brings us to—

4) Replace reviling with respect—Now that we’ve established that the “other side” isn’t (primarily) made up of jerks and monsters, we can treat them as people of value, goodwill, and intelligence, even though we disagree with their viewpoints.  For example—Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Anthony Scalia were friends—they respected each other—even though their worldviews, opinions, and resultant rulings on the Supreme Court often directly opposed each other. 

Let’s follow their example.  Respect begets respect—whether between workmates, classmates, family members, or members of opposing political persuasions.

If we start saying enough nice things to and about each other, it will disappoint the media, but make all of us feel and respond a lot better!  Yes, with some people it takes more searching to find anything good, but it’s there.

It also helps to remember that no one’s perfect, including ourselves, or our favorite politicians!

5) Change our mentality from “us vs. them” to “all of us”—Pluralism brought people to our nation, still brings people here, and keeps people here. As I pointed out in an earlier post– https://willyounotbeawareofit.wordpress.com/2020/06/22/dealing-with-different-ism/ –different is not necessarily wrong. Just because someone holds different views doesn’t mean they’re “haters”, “intolerant”, “evil”, “selling us out”, etc.  Some might be.  But it’s hard to change anyone by lobbing verbal missiles over a proverbial fence.

When we embrace the reality that we all belong to each other, to one nation, it keeps us in the same space for true dialogue.  It also reminds us that our belonging together transcends any disagreement on how to achieve the best for everyone.  It lets us keep loving those close to us the way we should, without letting politics divide us.

Take my own family (siblings and I), for example.  We’re “split” evenly over political views and the candidates we prefer.  But even though we believe the ones with “wrong” views are woefully misguided, we’ve chosen to keep on loving and trusting each other—because we’re FAMILY.

That’s what family is and does—has a bunch of quirks and disagreements but doesn’t let those tear them apart.

Let’s consider our nation a family and remain the UNITED States of America—“…indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”