We’ve heard the saying, “A watched pot never boils”, meaning “Don’t just sit around anxiously waiting for something to happen or it will seem to take even longer, or may not even happen at all.” That’s true. But there are also times when we do need to closely observe the process and progress of how things are going, so they don’t go awry. In other words, an unwatched pot will probably boil over!

I’ve discovered this the hard way, when my pot has literally boiled over, with soup or sauce spilling out and creating a big mess as well as loss of whatever escaped the pot. Has anyone else experienced this? It happens when we’re not watching! Who stands by passively when they see a pot start to boil over? If we have any shred of awareness and concern, we immediately turn down the heat, lift the lid, and make sure nothing spills out.  If something has already escaped, we catch it and spoon it back in, if possible, before it reaches the point of no return (stove, floor, dog’s mouth, etc.).

What’s our first thought then? “I wish I’d been watching to prevent this from happening!” That’s much easier than damage control and loss.

So it is with life. Life at home, at work, in relationships with others, and ultimately in our own personal development. What can happen if we don’t keep watch over the process, the group dynamics, and our own hearts, so that the “pot” boils over?

• A project in which something goes wrong, resulting in a lot of wasted time, energy, and resources. Lost and gone. We have to go back to “square one”. We could have prevented all that by checking in periodically and course correcting if necessary.

• A broken relationship because you and/or someone else wasn’t guarding their tongue. With soup or sauce, we may be able to put it back into the pot after it boils over, if we don’t mind the possible contamination of whatever it landed on when it spilled. But we can’t take back our words (only email lets us “unsend” and even that has to be watched to do it quickly enough. See https://willyounotbeawareofit.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/undo-send/ for more about this). Once those regrettable words land on the ears of the receiver, the damage is done. Apologies, the sooner the better, help. But, like putting the soup/sauce back in the pot, our communication has already been contaminated. We could have prevented that by thinking before we speak. “Is what I’m about to say… True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?”

“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” Prov. 18:19

• Division among team, family, group members because of unchecked attitudes of disrespect, disregard, misunderstanding, etc. Basically, the above when it expands and continues. This represents a pot left unwatched for so long that all the soup/sauce escapes and the pot gets scorched. Here, all good will escapes, people get burned, and it will take a lot of intentional “scrubbing” to restore the relationship. We could’ve prevented this by noticing earlier how we were regarding other people and doing an attitude-check.

• Blaming, finger-pointing, fault-finding, when everyone knows someone’s in trouble, and you/they don’t want it to be you/them. At this point no one is owning anything for fear of “getting the axe” jobwise or otherwise. Everyone’s so focused on saving their reputation and standing no one is dealing with the problem or coming up with a solution. We prevent this by taking responsibility and owning up with humility. At some point the truth will come out anyway, and people will forgive us more readily if we confess than if we try to cover up. Better to “eat humble pie” than get “hung out to dry”!

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Prov. 28:13

• Loss of face and reputation when it’s our fault. As noted above, that’s extremely difficult to reverse, which is why people blame each other when things go wrong! We prevent the own-fault part by being careful every step of the way, whether it’s planning an event, carrying out a project, or carrying on a conversation (especially a crucial or difficult one).

• Feelings of guilt, shame, and discouragement when our attitude and/or action is the cause of the “spillage” and damage. All these feelings are debilitating enough by themselves, but when good reasons stand behind them, they’ll really sink us! We prevent falling into these “potholes” along the road, by watching where we “walk” in our thought life and resulting behavior.

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise…” Eph. 5:15

All these scenarios have one thing in common—A big mess that someone has to clean up! We can prevent that by watching.

“Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.” Mat. 24:42-44

Does this mean we have to hover and micromanage? No. That would be anxiously standing over the proverbial pot. Somewhere between lifting the lid too often and passively leaving projects and followers to run themselves, there’s a balance. Find it and the soup will turn out superb!