Midnight Friday night. My husband and I had slipped into slumber, when, first came a clatter, then the dog-barking “chatter, then me asking “What’s the matter?!”
Then came the knocking, our dog leaped over the blocking, we found it shocking—
–When a young guy in our congregation announced it was him at the door. We wondered what for… But wait, there was more…
“JOE!”, we cried, in astonishment and joy, all wrapped in one– Joe, you see, is our beloved son!
He had hatched an incredible, glorious, self-giving, sweet, surprise—the gift of his own presence for Mother’s Day weekend!
Last May, when our younger son graduated college, my husband and I entered into the “empty nest” phase. That time when, if all goes well, the eaglets have grown into eagles, and have flown off ready to face the whole, wide, world, without mom and dad by their side.
Mom and dad, meanwhile, ponder their now-empty nest with a mix of emotions, ranging from pride in their soaring sons and daughters, gratefulness for the time they’ve had together, missing them like crazy, and wondering “what now?”.
Life’s transitions do that to us. They pour heaps of varying emotions into our hearts and stir them all together like a pot of stew! Leaving us to often “stew” over what it all means, and what the future may hold. But even the hard transitions can be good if we let them build us instead of destroying us. We get to choose. How?
- Directing our thoughts toward what to be thankful for– Some may say, “Oh, that’s ‘Pollyanna-ish’ and unrealistic. You have to face facts.” But facing facts doesn’t mean forgetting good things exist too. That would be just as unrealistic!
For example—just because facts say both our sons live much farther from us than this mama would like, doesn’t mean I can’t be thankful for good relationships with them and modern technology to communicate by video-chat!
- Deciding not to worry— Transition always involves change. Some personalities welcome and thrive on change like bears in search of honey. Others avoid it like pollen allergies in springtime. But regardless of our natural perception of change, we don’t have to worry. We can plan. We can prepare. But worrying will get us nowhere, except to maybe the hospital from the pain and illness it causes.
Phil. 4:6-7 tells us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Peace, a positive mindset, expecting good things from the Lord, help us to see and receive those good things when He gives them.
- Being proactive—Transition means we’re still living. Don’t just let change happen to us. Happen to the change! If it’s rough, difficult, unpleasant, etc., we don’t have to wallow in the worst of it. We can search out ways to make the best of it, and act on those ways. That way, the worst that can happen is things will be better than if we had let it roll over and flatten us.
Who knows, we may end up enjoying the transition! And, if it started out any good, we can make it even better!
- Learning from it– The hard stuff, the easy stuff, the challenges and fun. Everything has something to teach us and build our character if we look for the lesson and ask the Lord for wisdom in and from it.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5
We’ll never lose if we gain wisdom.
I didn’t look forward to our “eagles” departing our nest—especially given the aging that accompanies that transition! But practicing the above-mentioned actions has brought blessings to overcome the sadness.
It’s also good for relationships—in any transition. Especially the empty-nest one. When the relationships are good, one of those eagles may just fly home and surprise us! 🙂
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