–If you do, they will break for sure!

Likewise– DO NOT put your dirty clothes in your dishwasher–
–They will get torn up for sure!

By now you’re thinking, “Isn’t that obvious? Who would do anything that stupid?!”

No one. Not literally. Yet metaphorically, we do that all the time– to ourselves, or to other people, or let people do that to us.

Meaning– we feel compelled and obligated to do things the Lord did not design us to do.  Or, we pressure others that way. Or we let us others pressure us into trying to be and do what we’re not, just to please them.

So things, projects, and people, including us, get broken and/or torn.

Is this necessary? NO!

There’s a better way– simply to be and do what we’re made to be and do.

How the Lord designed us is how He wants to use us.  Not exploit.  Not manipulate.  Not pressure or force. 

Use—as in, we get to impact society, do things that matter, and feel the satisfaction of a job well done and knowing we have significance in this world.

Who wants to be useless, or be considered useless by others? Even worse, who wants to fail, mess things up, or have everyone’s fingers pointing at us as the cause for stuff going wrong?

Yet, that’s exactly what happens when we try or are pressured into doing something we weren’t designed to do.

Ever seen someone use a hammer to drive a screw into an appliance? The hammer may actually succeed in driving it in, but will also smash in everything else in the process!

Or, picture an orchestra conductor, who, as the crescendo builds, suddenly realizes the cymbals are missing, so he gestures to the first and second-chair violinists to bang their violins against each other to achieve that resounding “CLANG!” 

Of course those violinists will refuse—they value their violins too much to destroy them.  Plus, they also know banging their violins together won’t even achieve the desired result.  Violins were designed for a much different purpose!

In fact, every time we imagine anything used for a purpose other than what it was designed for, that image includes something painful and destructive, not to mention ineffective!

The same goes for people.  Here’s an example of what that looks like in real life:

Last year I was offered the position of Associate Executive Director for an organization I really believed in and still do.  The job description included some responsibilities that fit both my strengths and passion, some I could do well, though not as interesting, and a few weak areas I was willing to grow in.

In reality, however, the CEO increasingly assigned me the stuff I wasn’t “cut out for”, wanting it done “yesterday”, and angry when I didn’t perform according to his wishes. Meanwhile, the things I excelled in, felt “stoked” about, and could’ve delivered top-quality results for, either got postponed or assigned to someone else.

You can guess the result.  Maybe you’ve experienced this yourself.  FRUSTRATION—for both my boss and for me! 

He wasn’t getting what he needed in the time-frame he needed it in. I was always “failing” in some way—either due to lack of ability, or due to unrealistic and/or unclear expectations on his part. 

As if that wasn’t counter-productive enough for both of us, here’s what made it worse—he never got the benefit of my best, and I never got to give it!  After a while, we both realized this wasn’t working according to plan.

Thankfully we avoided a total washout by me asking for a “different seat on the bus”—one in which, though not my sweet-spot, was doable and productive for both of us.

If that laundry machine with dishes put in the wash cycle could talk… if the dishwasher with clothes in it could state its case… if the hammer or violins could say “No way am I going to…!” – they’d all say the same thing I am!

To avoid destruction, frustration, and discouragement, make sure the assignment fits the design and the function matches the form!

When it comes to ourselves and others, how do we do this?

1. Get familiar with your design— Start by consulting the Lord, your “helpful—personality, behavior, communication-style, strengths, skills, etc. Then own and celebrate how He made you, and live into that design and purpose.

“For we are God’s handiwork, [poem, masterpiece] created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Eph. 2:10

2. Set boundaries— NOT ones that exempt you from serving as long as you’re able—for ex., men, you can’t tell your wife “I’m not designed for washing dishes”!  Legitimate boundaries involve saying “no” to things that are counter-productive for others if you do them, especially when someone else can do them better. 

Jesus Himself said “no” to other’s wrong expectations of Him.  For example, when He reminded Pilate and others, “My Kingdom is not of this world…” Jn. 18:36

3. Get to know others’ design—whether friends, family, or followers.  A sincere interest in them and their well-being will go far toward helping you know where, how, and for what they best function.

Asking them what they enjoy doing also works well, since people seldom enjoy doing things they’re not good at. 

If you’re leading an organization or team, it’s very helpful to give two types of assessments—quantitative and qualitative.  The first are those with numerical scoring and results along various typing-spectrums, such as the Myers-Briggs or DISC assessments. 

The second are more narrative in nature, asking others who know these people what they think of them in various areas—strengths, weaknesses, personality, etc.

4. Be sensitive to resistance— tune in to non-verbal as well as verbal signals that this person really doesn’t feel comfortable doing something you’ve just asked them to.  Especially if you’re their leader/boss/authority figure—they don’t want to say “no”, but they know they’re not really “cut out” for it either. 

While they’re weighing in their mind which is worse, possibly failing or saying “no”, catch that and give them a way out of that predicament.  The “Golden Rule” applies well here: 

“’So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.’” Mat. 7:12

When we function according to our design and allow others to do the same, our lives and the lives of those we influence will improve, and stay in one, clean, beautiful, piece!