“Although we grieve we do not grieve as those without hope. ” – the Apostle Paul

The picture you see was taken in November 2014 as Matthew and I enjoyed a delicious meal at an Ethiopian restaurant in New York City.  I was honored to go with Matthew to New York City to see a specialist.  Matthew has been on my heart since his home going on December 22nd.  Matthew was like a son to Jeanne and myself.

My first conversation of substance with Matthew occurred when he asked permission to date Elisabeth. I prayed that God would be at the center of their relationship and that God would make their relationship be all that it should be and He answered abundantly as they got married and started a family.

Matthew  and I would meet at 6:00 a.m. and we studied God’s word and memorized Scriptures together.  As we grew in our love for God we also grew in our love for one another.  Our bond continued to grow over the years as we went backpacking and camping together.  I remember one incident when we saw a bear and instinctively started chasing it so we could get some pictures – so many fun times.

Matthew loved his family, he invested in his girls ensuring each one had a regular daddy date. Our family had dogs and thanks to my son we have two dogs. The girls would come and visit and say longingly “Daddy can we get a dog?”  Matthew held his ground and said no to dogs.  But his love for his girls was greater than his antipathy toward dogs.  Suddenly I heard they got a dog – “No way,” I replied.  Those lovely girls melted his heart.

Matthew loved his God. Whenever we were together Matthew would always turn the conversation to theological matters.  He would start out, “Dad, what are your thoughts of the hypostatic union?” Matthew could discuss abstruse theological issues at the level of doctoral students in my Doctor of ministry seminars.

We had so many good times together – weekends backpacking in the mountains, sharing our hopes and dreams with one another. Planning trips when the girls got old enough to carry their own backpack. But my sweetest memory is my trip to New York City in November.  During our several days together I got to see how a man of God faces adversity – not complaining but totally trusting God.  I was privileged to be with Matthew and carry his bags. Matthew is now where each one of us hopes to be one day – as Paul said, “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

What might God say to those of us who have witnessed Matthew’s battle?  He may enjoin us to remember the words He gave to the Apostle Paul,

Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.  And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.  (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

What a fresh reminder – whatever you’re going through to remember that His grace is sufficient for you!  God’s word is a tremendous comfort as we face sadness in our lives:

Matthew 11:28 – “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

John 14:1 – “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.”

Donald Grey Barnhouse, a famous bible teacher from the 1950”s, lost his wife to cancer when she was in her thirties. On the way to the funeral his oldest daughter asked him, “If Jesus died for our sins why do we still die?”

At that moment a large truck roared past them. Barnhouse turned to his daughter and asked, “Tell me, sweetheart, would you rather be run over by that truck or its shadow?”

“By the shadow,” she replied, “it can’t hurt you.”

Barnhouse nodded and said, “Did you know that the truck of death ran over the Lord Jesus in order that only its shadow might run over us? Your mother has not been overrun by death, but by the shadow of death. That is nothing to fear.”

Jesus exclaimed, “I am the resurrection and the life, He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live” (John 11:24).  That’s a promise that gives us great hope.

That’s why everyone who calls Christ their Savior, can say, “O Death, where is your sting?  O Hades, where is your victory?  The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 15:55-57).

The loss is real but it has been supplanted by hope.  I sense God’s new assignment for me is to help care for his family and come alongside Elisabeth in raising their precious daughters as he would have done.   Thank you Matthew for being a friend, a son, and a brother in Christ.

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University

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