Recently, during church service, a young man, age 22, gave a testimony about his faith journey, leading up to where he’s at now. He spoke of the many questions he’s had, how the Lord used others to bring him to faith, and how he continues to grow and get answers as he studies the Bible alone and in groups.

Seeing him get up and publicly share at this point of faith and growth doesn’t surprise me. I’ve only known him for a year since he and his older cousin started coming to our young adult group Bible studies and gatherings.

It did, however, surprise his many extended family members and others in our church. As the second-youngest cousin in a twenty-year span, he’s already been “branded” by those folks who’ve known him all his life. This includes anyone in our church family who watched him grow up.

To them he’s: “A quiet and shy kid”; “One who disappeared for a while”; “unengaged and apathetic”; etc. No wonder they’re surprised to see him testify in church for five minutes straight!

Yeah, he’s still on the quieter side. But my husband and I and others who’ve gotten to know him more recently also know he’s “got it in him”, when it comes to faith, courage, and expressing himself in public. We see his loyalty and faithful involvement as well.

Then there’s that one cousin he came with, a young lady four years older. Someone else who “disappeared”, had a crisis of faith, didn’t want to show up in church let alone get involved in anything, etc. When we met and got to know her last year here’s what we saw: Someone who’s friendly, kind, cares about community, and loves reaching out to others to join.

Different perspectives and perceptions for sure!

No wonder Jesus declared that “’…A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.’” Mk. 6:4

We not only tend to get what we expect, we also tend to expect according to what we’ve seen before. For those of us who’ve seen people before they’ve changed and matured, we’ll miss out on all the good of who they are now. But for those of us who see the best in people as they are now, and what they can become, we’ll give them opportunities to demonstrate that.

For example—These two cousins love to sing and worship, and they do it well. As one of our church’s worship leaders, I recruited them to help out, on stage, for church service. First I had to clear it with our worship deacon, who happens to be their much-older-cousin’s husband, as in, known them their whole lives.

“Wait, who did you say…?”

“E and S.”

“No way! You said they want to?!”

“Yeah, that’s what they told me when I asked if they’d be interested. They’re excited about it.”

(after a moment’s silence) “Uh, well, uh, ok, if they’re really willing. Just make sure they’re really believers. And I have to interview them first, like with everyone who helps on stage. But don’t expect them to join the worship team.”

“Ok.” (to letting them know about him interviewing them, not about not expecting them to want to join the team).

It went well. Both the next two Sundays. Then they officially joined the team immediately afterwards. Since then E. has sung a solo and volunteered to read Scripture. S. sings and sometimes runs sound and did that testimony.

Why am I not surprised?

Meanwhile, the worship deacon, his wife, and their family, are both surprised and glad for what they didn’t expect (from what they’ve told me).

This brings up another point—We have the power to change other people’s expectations, and in turn what they let themselves receive. Now that the expectation-barrier has been removed, the deacon-couple are encouraging those younger cousins in all they do, and positively expecting it to continue and grow as they grow.

I’ve seen this happen with:

• Youth whose parents, teachers, and others referred to as “troublemakers” — who blossomed into fragrant Christ-followers
• People whose siblings considered “too introverted and quiet/invisible” — who became pastors and preachers
• Those deemed “too socially awkward to succeed in society” — who teach and coach on interpersonal communication
• People who others thought would never be able to learn how to… — who learned and help others learn whatever that is
• Followers observers didn’t believe would ever lead — who developed courage and confidence to become great leaders
• Anyone who’s ever overcome negative expectations.

When this happens, everyone wins— the person who originally expects the best, the person given the chance based on better expectations, and the ones whose minds get changed about them.

In some cases, I’ve had the blessing of being the catalyst/influencer the Lord used to make all this happen. Talk about a joyful experience! I totally love being a “Barnabas” in the Kingdom of God!

What if Barnabas hadn’t been there to change people’s expectations about Saul-turned-Paul so that they opened their hearts and doors to receive better and different from him? Thankfully…

“When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord.” Acts 9:26-28

In other cases I’ve been the one who someone believed in enough to give me a chance, and even influenced others to do the same. If anyone has been blessed by me, they can thank those who expected and received better, based on seeing with the Lord’s eyes, not on what they’d seen or heard in the past.

How about you? What do you expect, and why? Whose lives are you impacting as a result of either opening or shutting doors of opportunity based on those expectations?