Last evening Jeanne and I watched the movie I can only imagine. I was familiar with the song, but I did not know the backstory to the song – it was powerful. I believe my emotional reaction was strong because I could identify with the lead character, Bart Millard, and his growing up in an abusive home.

The picture on the blog post is me at age seven, that was my age when my father died. The situation at home was not good so my mother sent me and my younger sister to live with our grandparents. I didn’t really know my father, my only memory was him in a violent rage. When he died, there was a void in my life, but I didn’t know why. The following year was a difficult year for me, I remember repeatedly being sent to the principal’s office for behavioral problems.

My fourth and fifth grades were what I call my “fat” years. I self-medicated with food and I did not like the way I looked. I didn’t want to go swimming in the summer because I looked fat with my shirt off. In the sixth grade I discovered athletics and the pounds disappeared and so did my feelings of inadequacy.

Bart Millard made peace with his father and dedicated his music to him as a tribute of God’s redeeming grace. I don’t know the spirtual condition of my father, but I know that God is good and does good.

“You are good and do good; teach me Your statutes.” (Psalm 119:68)

My life is filled with joy and peace. When I was growing up my family suffered much pain and suffering, but I have placed a high priority on my current family. I have a wonderful and supportive wife who loves me in spite of my many weaknesses. I have three phenomenal children and one precious daughter-in-law who daily brings joy to my life. I have been blessed with five beautiful grand-girls who keep me young (and quickly tire me out).

When I was young I could only imagine the life that I have now. May God give you the courage to pursue your dreams!

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University

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