Back in high school, I took a course on Modern China. Granted, that’s not so
modern anymore, but since the course included ancient Chinese history and
philosophers, even my high school days could be considered modern!
One famous philosopher we learned about and from was Confucius, the one
that folks are fond of saying, “Confucius say…” In like manner, my friends
and I would make up profound observations we thought Confucius would
say, and preface it that way, using his style.
Of course we didn’t dare use these for English class since the grammar
wouldn’t pass! Nevertheless, it made the meaning deeper (or at least seem
that way) to us.
Here’s my favorite from my 15-year-old mind (picture Confucius, not me):
He who rock boat fall out first!
While this makes good sense when boating, it also tells a profound
metaphorical truth–> Whoever causes trouble and/or disrupts unity on a
team, in a family, or among friends, will suffer the consequences!
“Yeah, but first?”, you may ask.
Ok, maybe not always chronologically first, but ultimately they will come in
“first place” for reaping the worst result. Why?
Because:
~They themselves will lose the relationships they had in the group by
stirring things up against them.
~They will lose their standing in the group– especially once everyone
discovers who caused the trouble!
~They will lose their own mental and emotional well-being– either from
feeling guilty or from trying to justify their wrong.
~They will reap the spiritual and general consequences of sin, until they
confess and repent. Then they will receive forgiveness from the Lord. But
who knows how long restoration will take?
That’s why Prov. 17:14 warns us– “Starting a quarrel is like
breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out!”
When a dam breaks and floods the area, who gets hit first and most? The
person closest to the breach—which will always be the one who puts the hole
in it—as in, right away!
Likewise, as Hos. 8:7 states, “They sow the wind, and they shall reap
the whirlwind.”
People who do this think they’re just making a harmless comment or need to
disagree “for the sake of the record”. Or they might say something sarcastic
or a put-down and call it “teasing” or “joking”.
But they don’t realize what they’re setting into motion. All devastating
windstorms start small and pick up speed and power as they go, leaving
major damage and destruction along the way.
“Sowing the wind” with unkind words and actions has the same effect
relationally as well as personally, beginning with the one who starts it off. It
may seem “small” at first, but gains devastating force as the gossip
snowballs and/or push-back responses happen.
Gal. 6:7 gives us the general version of this: “Do not be deceived… A
man [person] reaps what he sows.”
Gossip produces distrust. Harsh disagreement produces division. Insults
produce insecurity, avoidance, or counter-insults. None of this produces
unity, trust, or teamwork.
Ok, so what about when we have to deal with wrongdoing? What if one’s
own integrity and the integrity of the company/family/group are at stake?
Can we ever call someone out or “blow the whistle” on them? Or are we
required to “go along to get along”?
I get it. “Don’t rock the boat” is often associated with “Don’t speak up about
shady dealing if you don’t want to lose your job or chance for promotion.”
But good sailors know there’s a way to adjust the sails without capsizing the
boat!
In the same way, we can speak up about moral issues without causing major
upset and division. How do we do that?
1.Treat each other with respect— “speaking the truth in love”, as it
says in Eph. 4:15. We may not like what they say/do or even like them,
but we can still show respect, based on the fact that they’re made in God’s
image (Gen. 1:26).
- Make preserving the unity our goal. Eph. 4:3 commands us to
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond
of peace.” In other words, keep the “boat” as stable as possible to maintain
fellow-ship! - Maintain an attitude of humility and teachability. Remember, we’re
far from perfect ourselves, including our character, actions, and ideas! This
will keep us open to other people and their ideas, that we can learn from if
we decide to. Jesus, Who is perfect, described Himself as “gentle and
humble in heart.” Mat. 11:29
I guarantee that when we do all this, the Lord will honor it, others will
appreciate it, and we’ll keep our relationships, organizations, reputations,
and mental health stable.
As a leader of self and/or others, where do you need to stabilize your “boat”
today?
Julie Tofilon
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