Authenticity is the freedom to be who we really are.  If we are insecure about who we are we will often seek validation through the opinions of others.  My previous post DEVELOPING SELF-WORTH – OVERCOMING PERFECTIONISM revealed how a healthy view of oneself can help us overcome perfectionism.  When we accept ourselves as God created us it can also help us be free of relying upon the opinions of others to realize our identity.

When I concentrate more on what other people think I should be then I lose my authenticity and I cease to connect with others – I lack integrity because I’m not being true to myself.  We’ve all experienced the situation of trying to be someone other than who we really are and it’s so frustrating because the harder we try the worse it gets. 

Jesus showed how this problem can affect us in believing the truth as He said to the Jews, “How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?” (John 5:44).  The Apostle Paul also realized this problem, “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).  Later on he wrote to the Thessalonians, “but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts” (1 Thessalonians 2:4).

There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with this problem.  The wrong way is to stoically say, “I don’t care what others think!” and you seek to numb your feelings.  The problem is you can’t selectively numb your feelings – you may not feel the hurt but you also won’t feel any love.  Simon and Garfunkel said it well, “I am a rock, I am an island and a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.”  So what’s the right way?

Accept yourself as God accepts you.  If God loved you enough to send His only begotten Son to give His life for you then He has something special for you.  Ephesians 2:10 states, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”  The New Living Translations translates the word “workmanship” as “masterpiece” – think about it – you are God’s masterpiece!

If you accept yourself as God accepts you that enables you to demonstrate vulnerability.  Vulnerability implies that you don’t need to put on a mask or hide behind a wall but you’re free to be real.  The Velveteen Rabbit discovered it’s only as we truly experience love that we can become real. When you experience God’s love you’ll find a new courage to be yourself and you will become real and demonstrate authenticity!

Can you let go of what others think of you?  Don’t sacrifice who you are for the sake of what others think.  Don’t make it your goal to be accepted by others.  You cannot control their perception and when your goal of acceptance is blocked you will feel frustrated.  Rather make it your goal to be authentic and you won’t be disappointed.  Keep it real!