“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Eph. 4:29

As I was reading Eph. 4 the other day, it reminded me of our neighbors’ driveway getting worked on a few weeks ago. A truck came rumbling up and dumped its contents out onto that driveway, rumbling and grinding along all the while. As the gravel poured out in that noticeable fashion, I thought, “it’s a good thing they’re putting the right stuff on there.”

Indeed. What are we pouring out onto people with our words? Each word has an effect and piles up inside their hearts, minds, souls, and spirits. Not only our words, but the way we say them. For example, “What are you thinking?” – can mean, “I’m interested in your thoughts because I respect you”, or “Are you crazy?!”

Are our words, the intent behind them, and the tone and way we deliver them life-giving and edifying? Or are they destructive and discouraging? It’s not that we should never speak difficult truth. We can’t hide or deny reality, or we’d be suppressing the truth. But, when we say what needs to be said, do it in a way we’d want to hear it if we were on the receiving end. As Eph. 4:15 puts it, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Truth doesn’t have to be told at the expense of harmony and kindness.

How about our humor? Is it cutting, sarcastic, insulting? If someone or something is being torn down, by definition, it’s not edifying anyone.

Are we positive and encouraging, or negative, cynical, and discouraging? If we’re not sure, watch people’s expressions and responses when they hear it. See the effect it has on them.

How about our subject matter? Is it gross, foul, stinky stuff? What kind of “taste” does it leave in others who have to “swallow” it by hearing it? And what kind of “smell” are we emanating from our person with our words, tone, mannerisms, expression, and tone?

If the Holy Spirit is manufacturing and doing quality control on all of this, “…we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.” 2 Cor. 2:15-16

If not, we may end up like the garbage container that sits outside our kitchen because it doesn’t fit under the sink. After too many days, not having a tight lid, it begins to stink to high gracious, at which point we can’t stand the odor, and banish the container, contents and all, to our back porch. Pity the eastern neighbors when the strong west wind comes along!

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Lk. 6:45). In other words, our mouths are like dump trucks, getting loaded with the contents of our hearts, and dumped out on whoever we talk to. Picture either flowers, dirt, weeds, rocks, or whatever else being dumped out on someone’s lawn. Would they appreciate it there? Would it help or harm them? Is it something they’d want to keep or have to haul away? Is it building material or garbage?

As the old saying goes, “Garbage in, garbage out.” So then how do we get the right stuff in? How do our contents become pleasant fragrance building material?

Start with our thought life:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Phil. 4:8

If a thought doesn’t fit this list, stop thinking it. That takes intentionality and discipline, but it can be done. We do this by being mindful of what’s in our minds, catching our thoughts, examining them, and removing any that don’t belong there. It’s like cooking in a campground, making sure flies and bugs don’t get into the soup! Scripture calls this “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5).

The best way to make sure wrong thoughts don’t come and stay and affect our heart-contents is to not watch, listen to, or heed anything that’s mean, nasty, destructive, etc. In other words, don’t eat from a garbage dump! That includes all kinds of media and conversation. What are we watching, reading, hearing, and listening to? Not just “out there” in the news and social media, but from those we associate with? Do we need to turn it off, not go on, even stop associating with certain people?

Examine what’s in our “dump truck”, because it will get poured out wherever we go.