How to Guard Your Tongue

How many of you, like me, have ever prayed this?: 

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”  (Ps. 141:3)

…only to find out that some words escaped that you wish hadn’t?!

In fact, I’ve even asked the Lord why He didn’t post better guards! 

Add this to Ps. 139:4 —  “Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.”

That brings up the question— “Lord, if you know what I’m going to say before I say it, why don’t you stop me from saying those stupid, hurtful, things I regret immediately?!”  (Or even the ones I don’t regret until later?)

We all want good relationships.  We all want to say the right thing at the right time in the right way.  We all want to say wise, helpful, encouraging things. None of us wants to look foolish or be the reason for a broken relationship because of something we said.

So where’s the “mouth guard” when we need it?  I’m not talking about the kind Steph Curry and other NBA players wear to protect their teeth and mouth from injury.  I’m talking about the kind we need to protect injuring others with our words!

Here’s what I’ve learned from the Lord– where spiritual formation meets interpersonal communication:

~We have free will– so He won’t totally stop us from saying anything.

~But He will warn and lead us— the closer we get to Him and more we tune in to listen, the more we’ll “hear” Him whisper in our hearts—

“Are you sure you want to say that?” 

“Before you say that, consider…”;

“Let’s rephrase that in a more positive, edifying, way”;

“WAIT! Hear him/her out before you react!”.

Maybe He’ll even pop some words in our mind we know come from Him.

Yes, He’ll post a guard.  Yes, He’s aware of what we’re about to say and is “waving His arms” and calling– “Don’t go there!” 

Picture a lifeguard warning a swimmer about to head into an undertow inhabited by sharks.  The “undertow” is the strong pull to lash out in anger, put someone down in contempt, or puff ourselves up in pride.  The “sharks” are those destructive words that will eat us up alive and tear apart our relationships.

We just have to:

  • Turn down all the noise in our hearts and minds so we can hear Him.  These means silencing all the distracting thoughts that “talk over” His “still, small, voice” (1 Kings 19:11-13). 

          We do this by finding a quiet place and turning off any devices that  “ping” and “pong” and play ping-pong in our heads.

  • Get to know Him so well we recognize His voice when we hear it—like sheep who follow a shepherd “for they know His voice” (John 10:4)
  •  Listen up! “…be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19)
  • “Zip our lips” (like they tell us in Kindergarten)
  • Give that inner-guard the spiritual armor needed to keep those awful words from escaping! (Eph. 6:10-11)

Do these and enjoy the inner and outer peace this protection brings!  Then please share a specific way it has worked for you!