Do you ever feel like you’re at the mercy of every notification, message, and request that comes in? Yes, those notifications abound, and the higher up we go, the more often they sound. Does that mean we have to attend or respond to them immediately?

No. They’re notifications, not commands. They’re there to in-form us, not con-form us. If we jump at every ping and pong we hear, we’ll become like ping-pong balls, bouncing everywhere.

We have agency. We can turn them off when we’re in a meeting, in a conversation, in a need-to-focus work time. Or, if we leave them on, we can turn the sound off. Or, if we choose to leave the sound on so we know when they come, they can act as a way to know we have something to get to later, according to priorities.

We set our priorities. Notifications don’t. We decide how urgent each one is and when to attend to them. Dogs respond automatically to bells and whistles. People don’t need to.

“But what if it’s my boss pinging me?” Your boss gets pinged too and understands your need to stay present in meetings and focus on your work, because they have the same need.

A lot of those notifications are people sending messages now, so they won’t forget later. They’re not urgent. My guess is you do that yourself—send messages when you have time and remember to send them, knowing the recipient probably can’t respond right away. I do that. And aren’t we pleasantly surprised when people do respond quickly? Knowing that helps us not feel pressured, pushed, or anxious.

It also helps to realize that if we do respond immediately, under stress, we won’t be able to give a well-thought-out response and are more likely to be “short” and curt in our reply. That would be counterproductive, possibly giving them a wrong/unhelpful answer, and hurting the relationship.

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Prov. 18:13

“Intelligent people think before they speak; what they say is then more persuasive.” Prov. 16:23

Finally, it protects our emotional health when we don’t let notifications trigger us. No need to resent, be angry at, or jump at them (the notifications or people behind them), when we know we’re not controlled by them. This not only helps our performance and productivity, it helps us respond kindly and give our best to those asking things from us.

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” Col. 3:15

For any of us in leadership and/or aspiring to leadership– True leadership begins with self-leadership, self-control, not being controlled by outside forces. Not that we don’t listen to or care about others (especially anyone in authority over us). Self-leadership doesn’t mean selfishness. But if we let the whims of others and pleasing them govern our lives, we’ll be blown about by every “wind” of their voice, as well as bounced about by everything they hit us with. (Two parallel metaphors with the same meaning).

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Prov. 25:28

“The fear of man [people-pleasing] brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.” Prov. 29:25

Self-leadership also doesn’t mean total independence, doing whatever feels good to us at the moment. It means leadership of self by something/someone. If that someone is God, that’s all the better, since He always knows what’s best, can do what’s best, and wants the best for us. It’s us guiding our lives and decisions by principles and priorities, which come from transcendent values. This gives us the stability we need in our lives for mental, emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual health.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Rom. 12:2

“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” Ps. 16:8

Rather than getting bounced around, we can put every ping, pong, opinion, ask, etc. through the grid of where it fits into our principles and priorities, and decide when and how to respond accordingly. With such a framework, we can even be flexible, knowing where we’re flexing from, to, and back to. Gymnasts don’t bounce around aimlessly. Their agility comes from core stability that they bend from and back to.

We’ll never reach or even know our God-given goals or destiny if we let others “plan” our moments, days, and lives. It’s likely the Wise Men would’ve never found Jesus, if they’d had smart phones and had followed every notification instead of the Star over Bethlehem.

It’s the same with us. We’ll get where we need to go when we don’t jump and get bounced around in every direction.