Three little words have destroyed many a diet, savings plan, and the best of resolutions.  You’ve heard them countless times and have no doubt, said them yourself.  What are those words?  Here’s an example:

I regularly ate lunch with a friend who had a desire to lose weight.  He would go through the salad bar line selecting a healthy array of foods.  He then put on two heaping ladles of salad dressing that effectively negated the healthy benefits of ordering a salad.  Why did he do it – he believed those three dangerous words.

Perhaps you’ve ordered a diet coke and since you made a supposedly healthy choice with your drink, you’re going to reward yourself and get the double bacon cheeseburger.  Why did you do this?  Those three dangerous words – I deserve it.

We have a craving for homeostasis seeking a psychological equilibrium that is consonant with our self-image.  If you do a positive act then you subconsciously believe that you have a right to indulge in a negative behavior.  The very word “diet” presupposes that you will attempt to compensate your eating.  That is why so many diets fail, healthy eating must be a lifestyle, it must reflect who you are.  It’s not about willpower, it’s about identity.

This regression toward the mean validates our self-image.  Psychologists have a label for this corrective behavior – it’s called moral licensing.  It’s a subconscious phenomenon whereby you allow yourself to do something “bad” because you’ve been “good”.

Consider the implications of this fact for your spiritual life.  This is an identity issue – how do you see yourself?  Notice how the Apostles, Paul, James, and Peter, identified themselves,

Paul, a bond-servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the faith of those chosen of God and the knowledge of the truth which is according to godliness,  (Titus 1:1)

James, a bond-servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes who are dispersed abroad: Greetings.  (James 1:1)

Simon Peter, a bond-servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ:  (2 Peter 1:1)

The word bond-servant literally means slave.  What does a slave deserve? If you see yourself as a bond-servant of Christ, that greatly minimizes the mindset of “I deserve it.”  The one who expects little is not easily disappointed.

It starts with your identity?  Live in accordance with your identity as God’s child.  He has put His Spirit in you to live His life through you.  You are to work out in your life what God has worked in – establish those keystone habits of a godly person.  You must see yourself as one who normally does good deeds.  Christ in you is the hope of glory.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.  (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Act in accordance with your new, true identity!

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University

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