Have you ever reflected upon the significance of your words? You’ve heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” The truth is sticks and stones can break our bones, but words can also break our hearts. Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, realized this truth years ago,

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

The Apostle James makes the same point in the New Testament in even greater detail,

For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God;  from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh. (James 3:2-12)

The book of Proverbs provides several examples of words that bring life and those that lead to death:

Words can bring refreshment
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. (Proverbs 10:11)

Words can bring wisdom
On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding. (Proverbs 10:13)

Words can bring healing
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

Words can bring deception
He who hates disguises it with his lips, but he lays up deceit in his heart. (Proverbs 26:24)

Words can bring seduction
For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; (Proverbs 5:3)

Words can bring entanglement
If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, have been caught with the words of your mouth, (Proverbs 6:2)

Words can bring destruction
With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered. (Proverbs 11:9)

All of us have experienced the destructive effects of words of death. It takes the wind out of our sails and lead to even greater conflict. Does your speech tend to build up and encourage others or does it discourage and wound people? Laurence J. Peter wisely observes, “Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”

As you think about some people who have spoken life to you, what were some of the characteristics of their speech?

Did they emphasize your good qualities?

Did they accept you for who you are?

Were they sincere and genuine in their words?

Did you sense they sought to build you up and add value to your life?

If you want to speak words of life take care of your heart. See my post “How salty is your speech?” for some helpful encouragement. May our speech be characterized by Paul’s advice to the church at Ephesus,

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University

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