As I think about relational challenges that I’ve had with other people, I find that my attitude is a contributing factor. Conflict with others is inevitable, but we can find relief. The Apostle Paul gave helpful advice to the church at Philippi as they were experiencing interpersonal difficulties. Paul realized that the church is a diverse group of people and he was not advocating uniformity, but he encouraged them to have unity of purpose:

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. (Philippians 2:1-2)

What is a reason why we may fail to achieve Paul’s desire in these verses? Paul identified a cause in the next verse:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; (Philippians 2:3)

The root meaning of the word selfishness is that of a hireling. This is a picture of one who does work simply for money without regard for others. A selfish person is focused on serving and pleasing oneself. The phrase, empty conceit, literally means empty glory. This describes a person who is conceited without reason, one who is deluded and ambitious for one’s own reputation – this is the antithesis of humility.

The word humility is an acknowledgement of one’s weakness and insufficiency apart from the enabling grace of God. Humility is not thinking less of oneself, but not thinking of oneself at all. Humility is seeing oneself in our proper relationship to an all powerful God. It is not our natural response for us to regard others as more important than ourselves. When we’re living in a close relationship with others, then we realize how selfish we can be at times. Paul emphasized this point in the next verse:

do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)

The cure for self-centeredness is to shift our focus to the well being of others rather than an inordinate concern for ourselves. It’s been said that if you want joy in your life, put Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. What enables us to overcome this recurring focus upon ourselves? We must keep our eyes upon Jesus:

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, (Philippians 2:5)

The phrase, have this attitude, means to diligently set one’s mind upon something. This is not simply a casual thought, but a consideration that involves our mind, emotions, and will. Paul then described Jesus’ preexistence glory, His incarnation, and His subsequent exaltation. You will face attacks and insults from others, but you will be able to rise above them as you have the attitude of Christ.

Rick Higgins

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University