Pick them up!

Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we make them go wrong by “blowing it”—either through neglect, making a mistake, or through lack of good character (aka sin).

What do we do when that happens? Some natural responses include:

~Get angry—at others and/or ourselves— chew out those we blame and/or beat ourselves up

~Give up—call it quits when things drop, don’t work, or fall apart

~Pout – show our displeasure non-verbally, cut off communication, etc.

~Soak in self-pity—“Nothing ever works for me. I always fail. Nothing ever works right in my life.”

~Go into denial mode—“Problem? I don’t see any issue(s) here.”

Do you see yourself in any of these? I do (perhaps all of them at one time or another!).

If so, it’s time to ask ourselves a good coaching question—“How well does/has this work(ed) for you?” My guess, speaking from experience, is, not very well.

Thankfully we have better alternatives. Any and all of these work quite well:

1. Don’t leave things in a state of difficulties, danger, disappointment, or disarray. “Oops” happens to all of us— whether by us or by others, those “oops”es, by definition, are things we didn’t plan on, don’t want, and have adverse effects.

But how long those effects last is up to us. We can leave the “chips” down and continue to suffer the consequences. We can even make a worse mess by kicking them (and others and ourselves) around. Or, we can immediately begin clean up, course correction, and cooperation to mitigate the problem. If we choose the final option, we can even come out ahead, having learned from the “oops”.

“…forgetting what lies behind…I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 3:12-14

2. We can’t control circumstances or other people’s actions, but we can control our interpretation and response. That is, we don’t have to get or stay down with the difficulties. Even when we’re not responsible, we’re always response-ABLE!

Responding instead of reacting doesn’t come naturally. It’s counter-intuitive. With sudden and major stress causing adrenaline to “hijack” our brains and push us into fight or flight mode, we can’t think straight. Somehow we have to regain our ability to sort things out using reason, vs. panic, attacking back, etc.

The question is “how”? Training, training, and more training. To take enough time, through deep breathing, prayer, anything that separates us from the “trigger” situation long enough to bring ourselves into “thinking” mode. Then, with the Lord’s help and wisdom, we can respond in productive ways vs. reacting in ways that make things worse.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

3. Make the best of what we have. Yeah, some of the “chips” may be dirty and/or broken now, but we can still create good from them—just like Japanese kintsugi— the art of putting shattered pottery pieces back together by reattaching them with gold. This makes the latter product even more beautiful than it was before.

A recent example happened when we were on vacation last week (first time overseas in over 10 years). The taxi took us from the airport to what I knew wasn’t the right hotel. But in fact, our names were on the reservation list there according to the receptionist. Then I realized—when I’d booked online a few months earlier, there were two hotels with the same name. I’d meant to reject one because it was too far from the sights we wanted to see, and the other was clearly better quality as well as closer, for not much more cost. But when it came time to confirm on the site, I accidentally confirmed the wrong one, and didn’t realize until after we got there! Too late. I’d definitely “dropped the ball” and some chips! After apologizing profusely to my husband, he told me it was ok, not to worry about it. That helped me get out of my default “beat myself up” mode, and think about making the best of it.

The next day we took the 3km trek to the sights/area we wanted to go to, and saw some cool cultural stuff along the way. Plus, where we stayed was a closer walk back to a beautiful rooftop restaurant a couple of second cousins wanted to meet us at! And, we got heaps of great exercise through all that! A real experiential “kintsugi”! By looking for how to make the best of things, we found and enjoyed the ways.

Remembering that the Lord makes the best of things (now or later) always helps us get that perspective—

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Rom. 8:28

4. It’s best to get to those “chips” before someone else does. Be proactive about solving our troubles. Others either can’t, won’t, or may even capitalize on them. For example, our sweet golden retriever will pick up chips when someone drops them, but if they’re edible, he’s not giving them back!

Great leaders know how to pick up “chips”, no matter how they dropped or who dropped them.

So pick up those “chips”– learn, grow, create something better, keep moving forward, and bring others with you!