…don’t wear it!

Remember when we were kids and put on our parents’ shoes and tried to walk around in them? The high heels were the worst (if you tried them)! They were so hard to move anywhere in, it was hard to keep our balance, and we didn’t feel secure in them because they didn’t fit!

So it is with trying to be (or look like) who we’re not, and do what we’re not meant to do. It leads to a lot of discomfort and a high risk of stumbling. Much like trying to wear shoes that are obviously too big or too small (or fancy).

That looks awkward, feels awkward, and everyone around knows it’s awkward. Clunking and/or wincing along never made a good impression on anyone.

So why do we put on, much less try to move in, “shoes” that don’t fit?

1. To fit in with others wearing that type and size—to be and do like those around us. We feel like we have to conform in order to belong and be accepted. But who decides what to conform to? Do we really want a faulty human to dictate how we should look and act? Even worse, a person with bad values and character to make that decision? It’s bad enough to squish and/or stretch ourselves out of shape to fit in somewhere, let alone have that fitting in cause harm to us and others!

Solution? Fit in God’s way, to His plan. Let Him, the perfectly good and wise One, inform your decisions according to the way He designed us.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Rom. 12:1-2

2. To create the appearance of importance, status, and greatness (too-big shoes). All of need and search for significance. No one wants to be invisible, overlooked, ignored, disregarded, or too “small” to notice. That’s not how anyone gets praise, promotions, opportunities, or feels good about themselves. We all admire “VIP”s and their status, and the perks that come with that, such as VIP lounges and seating. But we’ll never find “VUIP” lounges and seating for “Very Un-Important People”—because there’s no desire for or special status in that! Unfortunately, putting on “shoes” too big for our feet doesn’t make us great or significant. It makes us look foolish and silly, like little kids trying to strut around in their parents’ shoes. Or too proud, what people call “putting on airs”.

This reminds me of folks we knew when we lived in Southeast Asia. They’d talk about “big” people, meaning those with high-status in society they wished they could be, and call themselves “small”, as though they had little significance and therefore little worth. Some would try to overcome that by referring to political leaders by their nicknames, as though they were personal friends, which everyone around knew they weren’t. It was just them putting on “big shoes”. That’s why we even have the expression, “those/his shoes will be hard to fill”, when one person replaces a great person before them in leadership.

Solution? Don’t try to fill someone else’s shoes! We don’t need shoes bigger than our feet to be significant. Our significance and worth come from our Maker. We are all Designer “products”!

“We are His workmanship [masterpiece, poem], created for good works…” Eph. 2:10

3. To seem more graceful and “classy” (too-small or fancy shoes). Similar to the “big-person” look, except here our goal is more to be admired for our looks, manners, and poise, in order to gain social status. Those who do this usually also want to achieve significance, although not everyone seeking significance cares about their manners(!)

Solution? Cultivate good character and inner beauty, so that our good manners come from a sincere heart of love and kindness, which “looks good on” everyone. We don’t want to be “empty suits” with no real substance or the sort of person whose attempt at appearing “well-bred” looks like lipstick on a pig! Gracious hearts create graceful manners.

“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.” Prov. 10:9

Saul’s armor didn’t work for David because it didn’t fit his size or style. He wasn’t used to (or comfortable with it), so he wisely refused to wear it to do battle.

“Then Saul gave David his own armor—a bronze helmet and a coat of mail. David put it on, strapped the sword over it, and took a step or two to see what it was like, for he had never worn such things before. ‘I can’t go in these,’ he protested to Saul. ‘I’m not used to them.’ So David took them off again.” 1 Sam. 17:38-39.

The best leaders, friends, and group members are those of us who know how we’re designed and live into that. This enables us to become who we’re meant to be and do what we’re called to do. At our best, from our best, for the best of everyone we impact and influence.

Find the “shoe that fits”. Then wear it, walk in it, even run and dance and play and jump in it—with your head held high and feeling comfortable!