Hint: What got us into whatever mess we’re in won’t get us out of it.

There’s a lot we can do to get ourselves in trouble, bad circumstances, and/or psychological distress. Anger/aggression, dishonesty, disloyalty, lack of self-control, irresponsibility, laziness, talking too much, passivity, etc., all lead us to destinations we’d rather not arrive at.

Human nature supersedes logic at this point, causing us to keep doing whatever got us into that mess in the first place. “For they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.” Hos. 8:7

For example, people in an argument that’s already escalated to the point of hostility between them shout even louder and stronger, often throwing in verbal abuse, profanity, and perhaps physical aggression. Will this help the other person change their mind or decide to listen? I’ve never seen that happen and I doubt you have either.

Or someone gets into serious debt from overspending. Creditors are chasing them like hounds after a fox, their credit-rating tanks, and because they can’t pay off their credit cards, those cards/credit are revoked by the banks issuing them. So what does the over-spender (usually) do? Takes out more loans somewhere, somehow, with exorbitantly high interest because they’re a major credit-risk! How is that going to help? We’ve all seen films with loan sharks and what they do to people who don’t pay. Yikes.

Or a political or business leader gets caught in shady dealing, lying, betraying their constituents/stakeholders, etc. To avoid a scandal, what do they generally do? Try to cover it up! All that does is give the media a juicier story when the cover gets ripped off and the truth comes out. Then that leader tries to pass the blame, which never works. We all know how we feel about leaders of any sector of society who do all this—no-one of any religion or non-religious appreciates or approves of cover-ups.

Or how about those in any organization who don’t deliver on what they promise or are asked to do? Instead of putting in more effort, they make excuses, and often give up and/or pass the responsibility onto someone else. Will this please their boss, colleagues, teammates, or stakeholders? Will it get them out of trouble?

Or the motor-mouths we all know. Their words get them into all kinds of trouble, either because of what they say or because others get tired of hearing them talk. Yet our natural tendency when we “step in it” with our words is to say more to try to dig ourselves out. Instead, we often dig ourselves into a bigger hole and worse trouble!

Solution—don’t keep doing what caused the mess in the first place. Throwing more dirt onto the pile won’t clean it up.

• De-escalate the argument by softening our tone and acknowledging the other’s good points. “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Prov. 15:1)
• Stop spending and start repaying. “Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.” (Rom. 13:7)
• Be honest and own up to wrongs. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” (Prov. 28:13)
• Make the effort to work with excellence and deliver the highest possible quality, on time. “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Col. 3:23-24)
• If we’ve offended someone, apologize sincerely, without excuses. “’…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.’” (Mat. 5:23-24)
• Stop talking. Be quiet and listen. “When there are many words, transgression and offense are unavoidable, But he who controls his lips and keeps thoughtful silence is wise.” (Prov. 10:19)

When we discover we’ve been going in the wrong direction and it’s taking us further from where we need to go and closer to where we don’t want to go, what do we do? Keep going the wrong way? Not if we have any sense! Rather, we turn around and start heading the opposite way. That’s the only way to undo the mess. Another word for this is repentance—realizing and agreeing with the Lord that we’ve been doing and thinking wrong, stopping, turning around, and heading back the right way immediately.

Take the Prodigal Son, for example—notice that “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.’” (Luke 15:17-18). As soon as he did that, he got out of the mess he’d made of his life, by returning to a dad who’d been waiting to welcome him back with open arms, enjoying a fatted calf, a party, and loving relationships, instead of sitting in a pig-stye starving. Much better than justifying his lifestyle and scrounging for pig-food to survive!

Sadly, some people refuse to even acknowledge they’ve made a mess of things. Others try to point it out, only to meet with denial. These people close their hearts and ears for self-protection, when what they’re really doing causes self-destruction. So, the first thing we need to do to get out of the mess is admit we’re in one and face it. Then we can start the clean-up and reversal process.

Finally, don’t be discouraged by the time it takes. The bigger the mess, the longer it takes to clean up, with the opposite attitude and action.