Not everyone enjoys competition. Some, like me and maybe you, would prefer a world where we don’t have to compete to succeed. Or, maybe we’d like a family member, colleague, or friend to realize they don’t have to compete to succeed, and it would even serve them better to not compete.

Granted, some competition is healthy. Sports, for example, requires competition. No one would be motivated to try their best or score if it didn’t matter who got more goals/runs/points, etc. But even in sports, we call someone a “good sport” if they treat others fairly, encourage other players, don’t trash-talk or act overly aggressive, have temper tantrums, etc. What distinguishes a good sport from a bad one? Their view of competition. If they don’t base their identity and worth on winning, they can engage in friendly competition and enjoy the game no matter who wins or loses.

“Good sports” also know when we don’t need to compete, and when competition can even become detrimental. For example, friendly competition between sports teams works well, but competition between team members only hurts the team. It produces ball hogs, aggressive and anti-social behavior, put downs, and members undermining each other. In the end, it hurts the team. It also hurts the individual if they have a leader/coach/manager who has the courage to call them out and take disciplinary action against them. This kind of competitor can and should be kicked off the team, and often are.

This also applies to companies, clubs, classes, churches, and any kind of group. If someone thinks they have to “compete” to get recognized, get ahead, get promoted, get opportunities, etc., they’ll compete as if their life depends on it, because to them, it does.

Leaders don’t do themselves or their team/organization any favors by setting up or encouraging this kind of competition where one member has to “beat” someone else in order to succeed. For example, how many students will help their classmates if the teacher grades on a curve and there’s only so many “A”s to go around? How many worship team members will encourage others to join, sing, or play, if only one person in each category will ever get the chance? How many corporate team members will publicly point out other members’ great ideas and contributions if only a limited number can receive high ratings during performance reviews?

For natural competitors as well as those of us who’d rather not compete against other members to begin with, here’s the good news—we don’t have to! We can avoid unnecessary competition by:

1.Recognizing that the more we celebrate each other the less we’ll have to compete against each other. This way, everyone wins– because everyone gets what they need to win by helping each other. No one fears losing their own place and/or chance for success when they help someone else. And everyone feels better about it, their lives, themselves, and each other.

“…Rejoice with those who rejoice…” Rom. 12:10, 15-16

“…Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves…” Phil. 2:2-4

2. Realizing our identity and worth come from the Lord, who makes room for everyone to shine in their design.

 “For we are his workmanship (masterpiece) created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Eph. 2:10

 If we can’t do, be, and become what we legitimately hope to in one company, church, organization, etc., seek Him for direction (Prov. 3:5-6). If we’re in a toxic environment with bad leadership, we probably need to leave as soon as possible. If it’s a matter of timing, trust the Lord enough to let someone else “have their day”, knowing we’ll have ours at the right time. For example, freshmen football players usually need to wait their turn to become the starting quarterback on the varsity team. New hires in companies need to prove themselves for a period of time before they get promoted. Or perhaps the Lord has something better for us that we didn’t even think of! Whatever it is, if we tie our self-worth and identity to our performance and others’ opinion of us, we’ll feel driven to compete to obtain that.

3. Remembering that no one likes a sore loser. Leaders and teammates don’t appreciate those who fuss, complain, and/or refuse to cooperate and help because they didn’t get the position or opportunity they wanted. Even if you don’t get kicked out, you’ll be socially frozen out, and only hurt your chance for promotion and opportunity later.

4. Those who lead—use that position to create an environment where people celebrate, encourage, and help each other. Leaders set the expectations for the members as to how necessary they feel it is to compete vs. cooperate and celebrate.

Try it. At your workplace, in your organization, in your family, at school. It really works!