Recently I was leading a group-coaching session in which all members expressed some hesitancy to show all their strengths in certain situations.  Everyone on the call are leaders, mid-level management and up.  All are experts in their role, and all have risen to their levels for good reason.

So why the hesitancy to display certain strengths?  Why did they feel they needed to hold some things back from their peers, clients, potential clients and/or supervisors?

Speaking from my own personal experience, as well as what these leaders expressed, I can tell you:

~Fear of appearing proud or arrogant—not wanting to be a “show off”.  Yes, even in “toot-your-own-horn”, “strut your stuff” America, people still don’t want to look like show-offs!  In Asia, where humility is a top cultural value, this fear intensifies exponentially.

~Fear of seeming inappropriate or “silly”.  No one wants to look incompetent or unprofessional, especially in the workplace.  Some strengths can seem “unseemly”—such as humor, cheerfulness, friendliness, optimism, etc.  So, in an effort to guard their professional reputation and demeanor, people, especially leaders, feel they have to keep those strengths out of range of detection. 

The result?  “Schizophrenic” leaders.  Leaders who are one way with their buddies and another way at work. 

Ok, I get it.  We can’t cut-up and be quite as folksy in professional settings as we can with our family and friends.  And it’s true that no one likes or really trusts people that go around bragging and trying to impress others.

But in a legitimate effort to avoid these pitfalls, we don’t need to hide our strengths!

In fact– HIDING OUR STRENGTHS FOR FEAR OF APPEARING PROUD OR INAPPROPRIATE IS LIKE HIDING OUR BEST FOOD FROM GUESTS!

–Not a kind or generous thing to do, is it?

–Do we feel show-off-ish or silly when we offer well-made cuisine at potlucks or extending hospitality to those we care about?  Imagine someone saying, “You proud, pompous, idiot!  Who gave you the right to bring this delicious food to a public gathering?!”  Or, “No way am I coming to your house for dinner—anyone that invites me like that is just plain arrogant!”

–Granted, everyone may not choose or even receive everything, but they wouldn’t fault us for offering. 

…Unless, perhaps, they perceived bad motives in us when we offer something, be it food, hospitality, help, good ideas, etc. Yes, we do need to check our motives when we put our strengths out there. 

Here’s a motive-virus check we can perform, quickly and honestly—Are we putting our strengths out there to:

–Prove ourselves to ourselves and/or others?

–Manipulate people?

–Gain something for ourselves?

–Be the “life of the party”?

–Self-promotion?

–“Brown-nose” (get favor with) the boss?

–Other wrong motives?

Once we run that motive-scan we’ll either see that we’re “virus-free” or need to fix something.  We do this by—

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me…”  Psalm 139:23-24a

If we need to fix something, here’s how to do that:

1. Reveal— Confess – acknowledge and agree with the Holy Spirit that an impure motive exists.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” 1 John 1:8

2. Repent and receive forgiveness and cleansing.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  1 John 1:9

3. Replace—wrong motives with right ones.

“   … and lead me in the way everlasting.”  Psalm 139:24b

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Ps. 51:10

Ok—so now that we have our motives fixed, what’s to stop us from putting our strengths out there where they can benefit people?  Still some fear of looking too “silly” or “folksy” to be competent or professional?

As mentioned earlier, yes, there’s a degree of legitimacy in keeping a respectable demeanor.  As long as it’s not from fear of man, hypocrisy, or any other wrong motive.

Remember the group-coaching session?  Someone in there told how relieved he was when he found out he didn’t have to hide his humor!  In fact, as a leader, he discovered his direct reports related to him better when they discovered he was human!  Of course the key word here, as with any strength, is “appropriate”.

But if we’ve been hiding our strengths, we’re likely already aware of the need to be appropriate.  It’s the freedom part we need to grasp.

Another small caveat here is “overuse”.  Yes, overuse and/or over-display of any strength can be obnoxious or counterproductive.  But again, that’s not the issue here.

Here’s the issue:  Hiding our strengths leaves only our weaknesses showing!  That doesn’t help either others or ourselves.

People definitely prefer our best to our worst. Can you imagine someone coming over and all we give them is old bread and a bit of water, served on dingy dishes?! None of us would do that, would we?

That’s like “hiding our light under a bowl” (Mat. 5:15), when everyone around us is stumbling in the dark.

Better to—

“…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Mat. 5:16

That “light” is our God-given strengths—shining not for our glory, but for His. 

Hiding them hides His glory. Do we really want to do that?

So, what is one strength you’re going to bring out of hiding this week that you’ve been keeping under wraps?