With openness. We see this principle everywhere. For example, you can’t fix a car with the hood closed.

We also need to open the hood to apply jumper cables, add oil, clean the parts, and do maintenance. We can’t do any of this without opening the hood.

Try it sometime. You’ll find you can’t see, let alone get at, whatever needs repairing, in order to make the car run well (or at all) again. I’m not a mechanic, but I know that warning lights come on and funny noises resound to inform drivers that something needs to be done. The sooner the better.

Wise vehicle owners choose sooner, and take their cars to get fixed, tuned up, etc. Can you imagine what would happen if the owner said to the mechanic, “Sorry, but I can’t open the hood or let you do it either. There’s too much dirt and crud in there, not to mention problems with some of the parts.”

Yet isn’t that what we do when we refuse to open up our hearts to others, especially someone that can help us?

How are we ever going to get the kind of healing, dealing, and restoration we need if we keep our issues hidden and close ourselves off? Granted, we’re not cars or machines that can be “fixed”. But the parallel exists—we have to open up for someone to “get in there” to help us determine the issue and take care of it.

We need real relationships to do that, and we can’t build them without letting people see what’s going on “under the hood”. In a Bible Study group I lead, someone recently mentioned, “When I first came to America, I didn’t want to rely on anyone but myself, so I didn’t have any friends.” What a significant statement! She saw how valuable friendship was to her. Enough to give up her self-reliance and self-protection.

A coaching client of mine also realized this openness principle, and told me he had started talking more frequently with his boss and others–expressing his true feelings and building relationships with them. Before doing this, he’d experienced a lot of inner stress, but once he started to be more open, with appropriate people in an appropriate way, he found his performance improving, as well as his relationships.

This guy is in middle-management, reserved by nature, from a culture that tends to be more reserved. It took a lot of courage for him to “open the hood”, especially given the risk of losing the respect of his peers, his direct reports, and his boss. What if he lost his chance of getting a promotion? What if no one listened to him anymore?

But he opened up anyway. And he got better. And the “warning lights” and beeps and pings in his life and work stopped.

Not long after, he got promoted. After all, a “well-running” person can be trusted a lot more than someone limping along, keeping things covered up.

We run well when we get our inner-stuff fixed up, tuned up, and ready to go. It starts with an “open hood”.

I know it’s difficult to do that. Even “heart on sleeve” people like me would rather look good to those around us in order to be liked, respected, and thought well of. Who wants to look stupid, incompetent, or “not enough…” on purpose? But we have to take that risk! We’ve already looked at why. Now let’s look at how to make it easier:

1. Remember that “having it all together” isolates us, because people don’t want to be around those to whom they feel inferior and/or have nothing to offer.

2. If we don’t humble ourselves by opening up, the Lord may have to humiliate us for our own good, to keep us from the sin of pride.

3. See it as a way to build emotional and physical health and well-being. This includes cleaning out any toxic memories and effects of sin, both our own and that of others against us. As one of my mentors put it, “Revealing is the beginning of healing”.

Proof of its necessity and effectiveness comes from my experience in a 5 month “Discipleship Training School” at age 22. There, the Lord blew the lids off our spiritual “garbage cans” so He and trained leaders could help us heal and deal with the stinky trash in there!

4. Realize it builds spiritual maturity and Christlike character as well—not calling ourselves “stupid”, “weak”, “inadequate”, etc., but letting Him transform us daily as we open ourselves up to Him and His work in our hearts.

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Cor. 3:18

When it comes to letting ourselves be seen for who we really are in a group, it helps to remember that we all belong to each other.

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Eph. 4:25

Keep our “hood” open and watch the healing, dealing, and improvement begin.