Have you ever heard the expression “fake it ‘til you make it”? Don’t try that if you want it to be real!

Contrary to popular belief, “fake it ‘til you make it” doesn’t work, at least not for very long, or unless you’re good at living in denial (not recommended).

By definition, “fake” means not real, not true, phony, insincere, what-you-see-is-not-what-you-get, etc. In other words, inauthentic. Something anyone with any discernment, including ourselves, can see through.

If we’re faking it on purpose, we know it’s not reality! Therefore, we feel like impostors—for good reason. And who wants to be a hypocrite? Impostor syndrome happens to those of us who feel like hypocrites and phonies and don’t want to be.

Does this mean we shouldn’t try to do things we know we’re not good at? Or not overcome our feelings of fear and shyness in order to do what we know we need to?

No. If that were true, very few people would do public speaking(!). Or practice and try out for sports teams. Or challenge the status quo even when the boss and our peers support it. Or run for public office at the local level where people know them.

Our weaknesses, fears, uncertainties, etc. exist. Pretending they don’t will only hurt us in the end. Because, even if we do “make it” that way, deep down, we won’t be able to own that, so we won’t have really made it.

How this plays out in community, work-life, home-life, and personal-life: We “make it”, with a lingering sense of faking, which à we can’t totally trust ourselves, which à others pick up on that and don’t (totally) trust us either, which à we pick up on and interpret as “yeah, I’m not really…/ I can’t really…”, which à we despair on it ever becoming real and others eventually giving up on us as well.

So, if “fake it ‘til you make it” doesn’t work, what does? How can we keep a growth mindset, venture out, risk failure and public derision, try new things, turn weaknesses into strengths (or at least get better)?

1. Seek it ‘til you peak it— Develop a vision for what you want to become and/or want to attain. Populate that vision with all kinds of details and “goodies” about what it will look like, feel like, and what will happen when you attain it. Ponder the driving purpose(s) behind it and benefits (short and long term) of that vision becoming reality. Keep that vision constant and front-of-mind to keep the motivation flowing. 

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 3:14

2. Believe it ‘til you achieve it— Don’t give up. Don’t let fear, “what if…?”s, doubt, self-doubt, etc. stop or derail you along the way. Setbacks will happen. Roadblocks will come. Opposition will likely manifest. Weariness may weigh you down. But keep believing: 1) that the end goal is worth pressing on for; and 2) that you can make it—that you can arrive there, and that it’s wise and good to enlist any necessary help along the way, including the Lord’s.

Those helpers become our cheerleaders and support along the way and multiply the joy of arriving by rejoicing with us! Turn our setbacks into comebacks, building resilience each time we do. The Apostle Paul models this:

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things… But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race…” Phil. 3:12-14a (NLT)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil. 4:13

3. Grow as you go!— Recognize where you are now. Acknowledge the reality of your current limits and fears. But don’t let that cause despair. Use that as a starting point, not an end point. If you want to make the basketball team as a starting forward, start shooting baskets. If you want to gain confidence and recognition at the organization you’re part of, start speaking up in meetings. Start giving presentations. Don’t pretend you’re not nervous when you are. Acknowledge it, take a deep breath, start in, and keep practicing until it feels more doable and less daunting.

Start doing whatever you need to, to get to where you want to end up. Keep growing, adjusting, improving, refining, and re-doing as you go. Keep it real—own how you feel—but press on anyway!

“Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling… for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.” 2 Pet. 1:10

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 Jn. 1:4

Having done all this, we won’t have to “fake it ‘til we make it”.  Instead, we’ll be starting and building on reality, every step of the way, ‘til we attain whatever we’re seeking to do, be, or have!