You know the feeling—that big dance is coming up tomorrow, and you still don’t have a date for it!  All your friends do, but you don’t!

My mom experienced this when she was a grad student.  Too shy to approach a guy, let alone ask him to go, she felt that kind of social panic.  But, she did have the gift of delegating.  So she asked her friends to find her a date!

Which they did— All of them.  The evening of the dance, THREE young men came to the door to pick her up—not all at once, but close enough for no one to leave before they all arrived!

So my mom appeared at the dance with not just one, but THREE dates! 

One was handsome, but boring.  One was wealthy, but “full of himself”, and acted like he had a corner on wisdom.  The third was kind of cute, and friendly, with a good sense of humor.

Who do you think my mom enjoyed the most?  Who would you enjoy the most (if you’re a guy reading this, put the guys in girl-terms)?

My mom ended up marrying the third guy— who later became my dad! 🙂

This morning I read a Scripture that reminded me of this great, true, story:

      “Thus says the Lord: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.’”                                                                                   –Jer. 9:23-24

In other words, the Lord wants us to develop our relationship with Him, so we can develop our CHARACTER.  When looking for “Mr./Mrs. Right”, it’s vital to keep this in mind.

First and foremost, to find the right person, we need to be and become the right person!

What character traits does this include?

R esponsible and responsive — caring about what needs to get done, doing our part in getting it done, and responding to the physical, emotional, and social needs of others.  Asking, listening, showing we care, etc. Being willing to let the “buck stop here”.  One who “work[s] heartily as for the Lord.” Col. 3:23. 

I ntegrity — Being the same person at home as we are in public– “what you see is what you get”.  Nothing hidden, nothing exaggerated. Being trustworthy because we don’t “change faces” in different places. Not “using dishonest scales.” (Prov. 11:1). Keeping our promises, even when it’s hard (Ps. 15:4).

G entle and gracious — Not harsh or demanding. Considering the feelings of others before speaking, acting, even thinking (since our thoughts turn into words and actions).  Quick to overlook faults in others and forgive them when their mess-ups hurt us in some way—recognizing that we need the same kind of grace!  “Let your gentle spirit be known to all [people].” Phil. 4:5

H umble – Not the false humility that’s really inverted pride.  The kind that’s willing to put others first because we don’t think we’re any better than they are.  The kind that’s willing to be transparent and vulnerable in public because we’re not trying to protect our image. “In humility, count others more significant than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3)

T eachable – So that we can continuously learn and grow—in character, competence, and relationships.  As soon as someone feels they’ve “arrived”, they stop growing, and become stagnant, stubborn, and “superior” (arrogant). No one wants to be around, let alone married to, such a person!  “Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.”  Prov. 13:18

Be and look for the R.I.G.H.T. person, and we’ll have happy lives and marriages. If we’re already married, it’s not too late to become R.I.G.H.T. Not perfect.  No one is perfect.  But we do have a choice, like my mom did!