Have you ever experienced the pain of shattered dreams? When the actual situation does not match our expectations, it often results in heartache. Unfortunately there is no shortage of situations that can cause us to lose heart. We are a hurry-up society and some people think that instant gratification takes too long. We are losing the ability to wait because we want what we want right now.

Although Solomon penned his proverbs approximately 3,000 years ago, they are just as relevant for us today,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

It is normal for you to feel despondent when your hopes are dashed. As we consider the word “hope” there are two aspects to this word. Hope is the desire for that which is good or supposed to be good. Secondly, hope entails an expectation that the realization of one’s hope is real possibility. If there is no expectation of achievement then one usually does not hope for it.

We do not need to remain despondent when our hopes are not realized. There are some strategies we can use to deal with our shattered dreams. One way is to adjust our expectations – the one who expects little is not easily disappointed.

Another approach is to realize that God is sovereign and unfulfilled desires can be a way to draw us closer to God. I must realize that God loves me and desires that which is best for me. I must also realize that my greatest joy comes not in having my desire fulfilled, but in truly experiencing God. Shattered dreams can be a catalyst that draws us closer to God. It’s been said, “You don’t realize God is all you need until God is all you have.”

Could it be that when hope is deferred in your life, it can be an opportunity to deepen your relationship with God and align your will with His will? C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity wisely observes, “If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world.”

Note the contrast in this proverb – “but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” The phrase, “tree of life” occurs several times in the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, and it can be used metaphorically denoting a blessed life. Here is the wondrous truth – when you align your desires with God’s plan for your life, then you realize a fruitful tree of life. Keep your eyes on God’s faithfulness, Alexander Pope reminds us, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast, man never is, but always to be blest.”

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University

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