Gentleness—a quality we all appreciate in others, yet some of us find harder to become ourselves. Here’s some basic characteristics, in an acronym, to help us both define and improve in it:

G racious

E mpathetic

N urturing

T ender

L oving

E ncouraging

Now, let’s unpack the first three of these (with the last three coming in Part 2):

Gracious— Give the other person grace and space– don’t barge in, get in their face, or slander their name all over the place! 🙂  This reminds me of a girl in college who others considered “the most gracious person I know.”  She was gentle, polite, and soft-spoken.  She didn’t enter a conversation or room shouting or blustering.

It helps us to give grace when we remember how much we need to receive it– from the Lord and others!  Graciousness leads to gentleness — no harsh them — “Why don’t you…?”, “Don’t you know you should…?!”, etc.  We don’t like when others judge us, especially unfairly, so don’t do to that to others. Even when others aren’t gracious to us, we can still be gracious to others, and win them over with gentleness.

— “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Mat. 7:1-2

Empathetic— Imagine going to the dentist and him saying “I can see why you’re scared of this drill– these things can really hurt– I know!  I don’t like them either!”  Then they assure you they’ll go easy with it, to make it as painless as possible.  

When we empathize with the pain that correction, discipline, even positive training (like running laps, weight training, etc.) can cause — it helps us be gentler with giving it. Yes, we have to have hard conversations with others sometimes, but if we can feel what someone else would receiving it, we’ll

give it in a way that helps them to be more receptive to it.

For example, tell our children, and really mean it, “This hurts me to have to do this.  I wouldn’t want to… (restate the type of discipline) either!”, when we’re about to discipline them (in an appropriate way). They may or may not believe us, but it will help us train them in a gentler way that they’ll appreciate, if not now, then later.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”  Rom. 12:15

Nurture—This makes me think of plant-care. Who gets their plants to grow and flourish by ignoring them, abusing them, or randomly hacking at them?

We get plants to grow by nurturing them—providing enough, gentle, sunlight that doesn’t burn them, gently watering them instead of dousing them, even talking to them in cheerful, gentle, tones.  

Even when we have to prune branches and/or remove dead leaves, we do it carefully, gently, so as to nurture the plant’s growth, not destroy it. 

Gentleness nurtures relationships instead of hacking at them, destroying them, or tearing them apart.  That’s how this cat and butterfly get along 🙂

And, it’s why Paul nurtured churches this way: 

“But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”  1 Thes. 2:7-8

There we have it—the G.E.N. of GENTLE.  We’ll cover the “T.L.E.” in the next post—be on the lookout for it next week.

Meanwhile, ask yourself these questions:

1. Who’s the most gracious person you’ve ever known?  What made/makes you feel that way about them?  How can you develop those characteristics?

2.  How can you develop more empathy towards others?

3.  What does it mean to nurture someone?  What are some ways others have nurtured you and you can nurture others?