All of us can think of a time when we considered intentionally trying something new and/or changing something in our lives. Some of us find this exciting, or at least not too difficult to do and look forward to. Others of us hang back, hesitating, preferring to keep the status quo.
Psychologists call this our level of “risk aversity”.
Change always involves risk. We could fail. It could fail us. We could get hurt. That new thing we try could backfire. That change we choose could not work out as well as we’d hoped. Or, we may not be able to change what we’d hoped to.
So we hesitate. “Is this really worth my time and effort? Worse yet, what if it causes me to lose…my reputation, my job, my business, my self-worth, my…?”
But what if the change and/or new thing would truly benefit us and those we influence? What if it’s not only worth our time and effort, but also necessary for growth and even our survival? What if we need it to keep and build our reputation, position, business, skills, etc.?
The last thing we need is someone to discourage us and point out what they consider bad or too difficult. For example, they may say, “The water is too cold! It’s frigid! Don’t go in there unless you want to freeze!” But that may just be their perspective—the water may not really be so cold. Or, if it is, we can acknowledge that possibility and brace ourselves to swim like crazy until we adjust and enjoy the water! Yes, it’s good to do our own research to make sure the water doesn’t contain hazardous materials, but once we know that, feel free to dive in!
So how do we overcome risk adversity without becoming foolhardy and overlooking possible risk?
1. Research the facts, not opinions—As mentioned above, there’s a difference between getting scared off by fearmongers and checking out reality for ourselves. That way, we’re not going by “what if…?” or “they say…”, but by “this verifiable fact from a credible source shows me…”
Don’t underthink it, but don’t overthink it. And certainly, don’t just go by what others say, or we’ll always hold back from fear and confusion and go nowhere. As my mom used to say whenever I said, “They say…”—she’d ask, “Who’s ‘they’?!” In other words, “Where are you getting your ideas from?”
“Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding,” Prov. 3:13
2. Relinquish control—When it’s leadership above us deciding and announcing coming change, it’s easier to accept when we realize we don’t have to control everything for our own safety. That takes a certain level of trust in our leaders. If they’re not trustworthy, then we keep control long enough to leave the group/team/organization/company. If they are trustworthy, knowing they “have our backs” and care about us, helps us accept the change.
Whether we leave or stay, in the end, we need to trust our ultimate Leader, the Lord, to see us through the change, and relinquish control to Him. He is always faithful, loving, and wise to bring about the best for us—whether it’s change within our organization or change by leaving it.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Is. 41:10
“He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Rom. 8:28
3. Reciprocate– when change “embraces” us, embrace it back—Go farther than just tolerating or accepting it as a “necessary evil”. After doing our own “due diligence” and relinquishing control, we’ve ensured our safety. So why not enjoy it? Anticipate and think about it in a positive way so we can look forward to it.
For example, when I got engaged, I knew my life was going to change when I got married. But because I trusted my would-be husband, as well as the Lord, I anticipated my wedding and the coming change with excitement!
Whether it’s our wedding or another change that we decide to embrace, let’s have the attitude of:
“This is [will be] the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Ps. 118:24 (bracketed section mine)
4. Reward– have a clear “win” in mind—This is how we get excited, develop a positive mindset, and look forward to the change. Don’t just try to accept it in theory, have a real purpose, a “why”, in mind. This works for the changes that leaders announce as well as changes we’re considering for ourselves.
That clear purpose and reward in our professional/work life can be new opportunities, new or greater expertise, developing relational skills, etc. The same applies to our personal life.
When speaking with a coaching client, these were the kinds of things she realized when I encouraged her to embrace change this way. After thinking of these rewards and speaking them out, her whole attitude and countenance changed. She had “gotten it” and felt positive excitement about the coming change.
5. Reinforcements– have a support system– talk it through it with people we can trust, to get their perspective. Not with naysayers though! With encouraging friends and leaders who have true wisdom, who will share their thoughts and experience in the most helpful way.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Prov. 11:14
Having done the above, we’ll be able to embrace right and necessary change, without being held back by risk aversity. Risk recognition and research, yes. But not cowering in fear. We’ll see it as positive thing, “not something you have to fight” (as my client expressed it). We can then fully invest ourself in the change and new outcomes from it.
If we’re the advisor, leader, or friend, let’s encourage those who are considering “diving into” some much-needed change and/or learning and trying something new.
If we’re the one contemplating such a change or effort, don’t listen to the naysayers or we’ll never enjoy the “water”!
March 20, 2023 at 5:47 am
So desperate to have you fill me up http://prephe.ro/Bdsn
March 17, 2023 at 3:43 pm
How would you like to take me from behind daddy? http://prephe.ro/y6sn
March 14, 2023 at 9:48 pm
Cum in me or on me, I don’t really mind https://is.gd/NTRfVO