People are often surprised by encouragement. 

Why?

1) Low self-esteem—they don’t believe they deserve encouragement.  In their minds/hearts, they’re not good enough.  Or what they did wasn’t good enough.  Or what they plan on trying to do won’t be good enough—so they either—a) give up before they start, or b) make a halfhearted effort, figuring “why waste the effort when I’ll fail anyway?”

Sometimes this low self-esteem is caused by their own perfectionism, and/or the perfectionism of those around them and those they’ve grown up with.  Their best wasn’t ever good enough.  They were either criticized, chastised, or instructed on how to improve.  If encouragement was ever offered, it came in the form of “Do better next time!” 

Sadly, this describes many families and even some entire cultures.  I observed an example of this at an event a couple of weeks ago where the majority of attendees came from such a perfectionistic culture. 

A young lady had taught a small group of us the steps to a folk-dance to go along with Messianic worship songs.  It brought joy to my heart and enhanced the worship experience. 

When I expressed appreciation to the leader and complimented her on her teaching, she replied with an excuse of how the worship leader had changed things up on her so she couldn’t teach and lead the dancing properly.  She didn’t get it that I was encouraging her!  So I tried again!  It took a persistent effort, but she finally understood and received the encouragement.

She didn’t think she deserved it.  So she didn’t expect it. 

2) We represent a group or kind of person that normally doesn’t encourage them.  They may or may not feel good about themselves, but they don’t expect encouragement from us. 

For example, people of one race may not expect respect and encouragement from those of another particular race.  Or children and teenagers may not expect encouragement from teachers, other authority figures in their lives, or even any adult—either because it doesn’t happen in their culture, or doesn’t happen at home from their parents.

I have totally shocked some of the youth in my church by encouraging them on who they are, a job well done, a good answer in my Sunday School class, etc.  Their cultural and mental grid doesn’t have a place for an older middle-aged lady, teacher, and/or pastor’s wife affirming them!  Their minds are saying, “Is this for real?!” 

This happened Sunday.  But I finally convinced one guy that’s always getting into trouble with his mom that another mom really likes him and what he says and does!  He responded with a big grin and “Thanks!”.

So go out and surprise people with encouragement!  And keep at it ‘til it finally sinks in—it may take a while, and repeated efforts, but don’t quit “chopping” away at the barrier(s) until they fall!  They will fall, and the encouragement will get through to them!  Then, next time, they won’t be surprised J

Gal. 6:9 encourages us—“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  This includes encouraging people who can’t receive it at first.

The Lord wants to use us to change people’s minds about themselves and the groups/types of people we represent!

What an awesome and significant commission we share as encouragers!