It was late on a Friday afternoon when I received a frantic phone from a young mother with several children as she and her family were re-locating to Mt. Pleasant. She sounded rather troubled, they were moving to a new city with no family and friends and a heavy burden.  Thankfully she reached out to a church and since they were arriving late on Friday evening we agreed to meet the next day.

The family came in to my office with several children in tow. Her husband had broken her trust and she was deeply hurt. Edith Hamilton reminds us of this lesson from history, “When the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and never was free again.” As I listened to their story I could sense the pain and remorse. This was a serious situation and she was not sure she wanted to stay in the marriage. I asked them, “Are you willing to work for the marriage?” The husband immediately responded, “Yes”; although she was deeply hurt, the wife reluctantly said, “Yes”.  I said, “I’m willing to work with you, but it’s going to take effort on your part.” I gave them a homework assignment and we scheduled our next meeting.

Over the next several months we worked together on the marriage. I helped them see that marriage is not simply finding the right person but it’s being the right person. We looked at biblical principles and they read The Cure and we worked through the principles in that book. The lies of the enemy were slowly replaced with the truth of God’s word. I invited the husband to join my Radical Mentoring group. Slowly and steadily they regained their love for one another and resolved the hurts from the past.

God did an amazing transformation in their lives. They are now leading a small group and encouraging other couples to experience freedom in Christ. As I reflected upon their new found freedom I was thinking of some of the truths that led to their transformation. Galatians 6:1 came to mind,

Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

The word “restore” literally means “to make fit, to equip, prepare.” The Greek word for restore is a rich word and I’ve indicated the various ways this word is translated in other verses,

Going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and He called them. (Matthew 4:21)

A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher. (Luke 6:40)

Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. (2 Corinthians 13:11)

equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13:21)

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)

For those who have gone astray we should seek to restore, mend, fully train, make complete, and perfect the other person in a spirit of gentleness. True freedom requires responsibility, that’s why few people experience it. Thomas a Kempis gives us a good perspective,

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. (The Imitation of Christ, 1:16)