Our last lesson examined how God allows trials and tribulations in our lives as a means of spiritual growth. We often expend a great deal of emotional energy seeking to extricate ourselves from these situations. We may be worrying about things in the past (that we cannot change) or we may have anxiety about things in the future (in which we have no control).  These situations involve circumstances that we cannot change. Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer” has brought comfort and perspective to many as it helps us to differentiate between what we can change and what we cannot change.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Some of our greatest struggles arise because we are trying to change or control that which is beyond our control and we are not changing that which we can control. For example, how much control do we have over another person? We experience a great deal of frustration and even anger because people are not doing what we want them to do. Although we cannot control other people, we can however, control our response. We have the ability to control our emotions and our response to others. To paraphrase Epictetus, we should not expect things to happen the way we want them to. Rather we should wish for what actually happens and then we will experience peace. This is aligning ourselves with reality rather than becoming frustrated because reality is not conforming to our expectations. The Apostle Paul helps us understand the sovereignty of God in His people:

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

God is sovereign. The phrase all things includes our present troubles, our relational struggles, and even our heavy heart. God is in control of all things. This is not fatalism or determinism, this is believing in an all-wise, all-loving, and all-powerful God who is in complete control of all things. This truth enables us to relinquish control of our circumstances and experience God’s peace. We may see heartache and disappointment, but that is not the whole story. We know in part, but then we will know fully, just as we have been fully known. God uses difficulties to conform us to the image of His Son. If we define the good as only what we can see in this life, then we have missed the teaching of this verse. How can we achieve this serenity?

We can achieve serenity by understanding that God is sovereign as we reframe negative situations into opportunities for growth. When we experience trials and tribulations we can be thankful that God is developing perseverance within us. This is not about denying reality but accepting it and seeing how we can grow. A diamond is a piece of coal that was made beautiful under pressure. Here are some principles to keep in mind:

1. Accept reality – Don’t minimize or deny the situation – acknowledge the magnitude of the problem.

2. Take action – We may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can change our attitude and take responsibility.

3. Partner with God – We must not wallow in self-pity, but we must look for the good can come from this situation.

You will discover that as you practice this response that you will develop perseverance and resilience in times of adversity. The more we sweat in peacetime, the less we bleed in war.

Do we believe that the hand of God is at the helm steering us to a safe haven as we navigate the storms of life? Phillips Brooks gave us sage advice, “Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be a stronger person. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.”

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University