Years ago, while living and ministering in the Middle East, my husband and I got to know a number of folks, both young and old, who said they wanted to follow Jesus. Some did. But others, when they found out what they’d have to give up to do that, gave up following Jesus instead. Or put it off until what they thought would be an easier time. They may have honestly intended to follow Jesus, but something else got in the way. Others never really intended to follow Him—they just said they would because they wanted to be polite or to go along with the group.

Every case of not following, or not continuing to follow, Jesus involved a “first… something/someone”. One young man followed for a while, even enthusiastically, until his girlfriend pulled him away. For him, it was “first let me wait until she becomes a believer”. For one middle-aged guy, it was “First I need to make sure I earn enough to provide for my family in case I get fired for becoming a Jesus-follower”. For a few young ladies, still single and living at home, it was, “I can’t come to meetings because I have to be at home to serve guests and relatives that come over.” In other words, parents and family first. For young moms it was “First I have to take care of my kids, and then, when they get older…” For students, especially those in the one-year cram-school after graduating high school, it was “Sorry, I really have to study hard first so I can do well on the university-entrance exam.” And so on.

If some of those “firsts” sound familiar, it’s because no matter what culture we’re in, many of them are common to all people. Call them reasons or excuses, some more legitimate than others, any time we put something else first, we can’t follow Jeus– because we follow whatever we put first. As soon as its path diverges from Jesus, it’s “Goodbye Jesus”.

This reminds me of an old country gospel song that goes, “Excuses, excuses, you’ll hear them every day. Well, the devil he’ll supply them, if from church you’ll stay away. When people come to know the Lord, the devil always loses. So, to keep those folks away from church, he offers them excuses!”

Not only are the excuses universal, with some variation according to culture, they’ve been around since Adam and Eve. People Jesus invited to follow Him, or who came to Him saying “I will follow you…” said, “…but first let me… (take care of my parents until they pass away, have time with my family, etc.)’ (Lk. 9:57-61).

“But Jesus said to him, ‘No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.’” Lk. 9:62

Why? Because it’s impossible to plow one way while looking back in the opposite way. “Looking back” means missing, longing for, wishing you could still be there. It means our hearts are still putting that other thing, person, or goal first. We may think we’re following Jesus, but our hearts are elsewhere.

As it says in Mat. 15:9, taken from Is. 29:13, “’These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.”

It’s not that taking care of our parents and family, studying, working, playing sports, enjoying time with friends, relaxing, etc., are wrong. It’s the “..but first” that’s the problem. “But” is a contradiction, and “first” means top priority.

Our choices reveal our priorities. We can do any good, legitimate, even necessary, thing while following Jesus, if that’s what Jesus is telling us to do. But as soon as following Jesus means choosing between Him and that thing or person, our choice determines our direction—either with or away from Him. We can’t go in two diverging directions at once. If you’ve ever been on a highway when one road splits off from another and you have to decide which lane to go or stay in, you know this.

Every day, every moment, every decision, it’s time to choose—Jesus’ way or our way. Ask ourselves, “First, what?” What or who are we really following? No looking back.