Sheryl Sandberg  is the COO of Facebook and the relates lessons of  life and leadership in her best seller Lean In.   She points out how stereotypes are holding women back from senior leadership positions in the world.  She affirms that “This book makes the case for leaning in, for being ambitions in any pursuit” (p. 10).

Lean In is filled with a number of leadership principles for both men and women.   She poses the question, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” (pp. 12, 25).  Throughout the book she challenges women to respond with self-confidence.    She describes her own self-doubt realizing that her feelings were not based in reality, “It wasn’t until I heard the Phi Beta Kappa speech about self-doubt that it struck me:  the real issue was not that I felt like a fraud, but that I could feel something deeply and profoundly and be completely wrong” (p. 32).

She emphasizes the importance of initiative, “You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around.  The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have” (p. 35).  She underscores the truth that leadership involves change and the necessity of moving people from here to there.  She writes, “If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress” (p. 51).

She incorporates a number of helpful metaphors throughout the book,  such as the corporate world is a jungle gym rather than a nice neat corporate ladder.  As she describes the difference, “. . . a jungle gym provides great views for many people, not just those at the top.  On a ladder, most climbers are stuck staring at the butt of the person above” (p. 53).

Lean In provides a good perspective on mentoring as she points out, “. . . searching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming” (p. 66).  Our emphasis on the necessity to have a mentor can teach us to become too dependent upon others.  “We need to stop telling them, ‘Get a mentor and you will excel.’  Instead, we need to tell them, ‘Excel and you will get a mentor'” (p. 68).

She has an excellent chapter on seeking and speaking truth with authenticity.   She maintains, “. . . the upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance” (p. 84).

Sandberg points out a major way that women hold themselves back is that they leave before they leave – they mentally check-out through self-doubt and the lack of encouragement from others.  She compares a career to a marathon.  The people on the sidelines are cheering on the male runners “Lookin’ strong!  On your way!”  whereas the female runners are given another message, “You know you don’t have to do this!” (p. 100).

Throughout the book there is an emphasis that men and women  must respond with equality toward one another.  “Each partner needs to be in charge of specific activities or it becomes too easy for one to feel like he’s doing a favor instead of doing his part” (p. 109).  She encourages men to “lean in” to their families (p. 113).

Much of the frustration that men and women feel is the myth of trying to do it all.  “Trying to do it all and expecting that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment.  Perfection is the enemy” (p. 123).  She encourages  readers to set reasonable goals and practice guilt management as well as time management.  She acknowledges the differences between men and women as she quotes Marie Wilson, “Show me a woman without guilt and I’ll show you a man” (p. 138).

She describes leadership as “. . . making others better as a result of your presence and making  sure that impact lasts in your absence” (p. 157).  Some may push back that this book emphasizes a feminist perspective; however, it’s difficult to argue with her definition of a feminist, “A feminist is someone who believes in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes” (p. 158).

This book is a clarion call to both men and women to respect one another’s equality, “Until women have supportive employers and colleagues as well as partners who share family responsibilities, they don’t have real choice” (p. 160).

Lean In does not encourage all women to enter the corporate world but rather for all women “. . . to dream big, forge a path through the obstacles, and achieve their full potential” (p. 171).   The Apostle Paul points out,

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  (Galatians 3:28)

 Sheryl Sandberg has presented lessons in life and leadership that are  helpful to both men and women.  If you want a sample of the content of Lean In, you may want to view her TED Talk, “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders.”  What are your thoughts on Lean In?

Associate Pastor – Discipleship.  The Church at LifePark

Professor of Discipleship, Columbia International University

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